Curve? What curve? Oh that curve…..

30 Jan

Here’s the deal. Everyone knows there’s a curve. You know the curve. One second you’re in love with your new culture. The next you hate it. Then you recover. And this can cycle throughout the whole time. But what people don’t tell you is that this curve can start before you step foot on that foreign land. That it can start before you buy your plane ticket. They don’t tell you that while everyone else is still in love with this foreign place, you are struggling not to scream waiting for the recovery period.

I’m screaming. No I’m suffocating. I’ve never been to such a…a…a liberal place! The clothes, the language (And I don’t mean the accent!), the humor (Sarcastic= funny, being rude= being rude) I came here to see America from the eyes of a foreigner. Someone far removed from the place I call home. What I see though are people who watch American TV shows, dress like Americans but make fun of Americans and eat food that the worst American cook wouldn’t make. I have never seen so much fat on a table. Anyone ever heard of skim milk? Or not having a pork sandwich with extra pork?

Do I need to recover much?!

“We’ll extend the deadline for you, just hurry ok?”

Overjoyed…excited…not a worry in the world. Purdue just gave me an extension on my deadline. This means I’m GOING TO IRELAND! I have been dreaming of rolling my bare feet in the grass of Ireland since I was 8. Now that same grass makes me want to puke. It’s probably shipped from America. Ok…you’re right I Jesus during one of my rant/prayers.  Maybe I’m overreacting. They probably got the grass from Australia.

I think I made a mistake about coming here….I don’t even like the smell of beer, let alone the taste. ..I’ve been here for 5 days and I already dream….well I don’t know what I dream of because I don’t want to go home. I want…I want Ireland’s music on Chicago’s streets.  Ireland’s brown sauce on Chicago style French fries. The value of the euro to be the value of the dollar.  Ireland or Australia which ever it is, I want that grass on my front lawn. Whole milk to be as healthy as skim milk, and their bacon is pretty awesome too! I think I want Ireland…I just want America too.

Maybe the recovery stage has finally hit. 4.5 months seems like a long, long time, but yesterday I never thought I would make it to today and yet here I am. Friends, I have no clue what I am doing but I do know that I am doing it with both guns (toy guns of course- guns are illegal in Ireland) ready to fire.

Ugh…..5 days down and many to Go. Oh Lord, strength me in your will….Help Ireland, the only thing scarier than a mad Irish is a mad Black-Irish. J

This Shannon-sider is out- the pub on campus sells the very best brown sauce and maybe it’s time to give those Irish chips (French Fries) a try.

Tyffanie Turner- Ireland’s newest Shannon Sider.

P.S. They found my luggage J

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